Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
