I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
