Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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