By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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