the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
