It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
