I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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