I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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