You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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