just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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