Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
