What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
