in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
