You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
