I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
