I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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