More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
