If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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