Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
