I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize