why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
