I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
