I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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