sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
