it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
