it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
