we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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