dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
