If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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