just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
