We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I think my vagina is haunted
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
