I don't think brook has ever known best
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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