carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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