what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize