My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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