guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Randomize
