Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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