There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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