imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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