my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I don't deserve a penis
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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