i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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