I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize