South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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