Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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