K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
