you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
