we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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