What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
