I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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