my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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