Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
