The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My liver just had a heart attack.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize