I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
