I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
