They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
All the doctor said was why
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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