Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Alive.
So much puke
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
