Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Houston, we have a squirter
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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