i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
