so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
