is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
