I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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