it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize