Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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