So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize