Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
how do flat chested girls get laid?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
