What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
