OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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